


Back to Square One

by Fedora Of Adorableness (TheTimelessChild0)



Category: White Collar
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Humor, One-Shot, Post-Episode: s01e14 Out of the Box, Urination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:27:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29518077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTimelessChild0/pseuds/Fedora%20Of%20Adorableness
Summary: The past catches up to us all.
Relationships: Neal Caffrey & Elliot Stabler, Peter Burke & Neal Caffrey
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5
Collections: WC²





	Back to Square One

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I mean Christopher Meloni's character in Law and Order: SVU. No, it's not a crossover.

Neal was lying on the ground, or well, leaning on it. Part of his back was supported by some large box put there by a worker for some reason...Peter was still digging his nails into his shoulder.

“Do you mind? I’m not gonna run back there, I promise!” he tried to shake off the death grip his handler had on him.

“Sorry,” Burke brushed off the bruised skin. So much for not letting him get hurt...

They just sat there, in silence, watching various authorities filing in to fix the plane- what was left of it.

At one point Peter stood up to take a phone call, keeping his eyes on Caffrey the whole time anyway.

There was no silver lining on the other end of that conversation. He was to go back in. His increasingly dubious saviour had vanished, along with any and all evidence of his legal egress from the New York shores.

“I can handle it. I at least know for sure it won’t be four whole years this time,” he had commented to reassure his friend.

“How come?” the Suit thought it odd, the show of optimism.

“I’ve already served the four months,” Neal reminded him.

The man took the number under consideration. He was not as fast at math. Then he understood. The four months were not added to the four years punitive sentence after his escape. They counted as part of it. This elicited a laugh from the elder.

A big white van approached.  _ Why did all unpleasant things take place in white vans? _ The con man couldn’t help but wonder. His fears were replaced with irritation when a Marshal stepped out of the driver’s seat. He noted there were no leg irons on his person. Though there were probably some in his future, nonetheless.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he whined, at the sight of someone he legitimately thought he had successfully run from, once upon a time. And a few times before that.

“You better watch your language, I’ve got a bar of soap in the glove compartment” the gruff man with half a crew cut warned.

“And I’ve got a right hook, I guess that sums up the discussion of assets section of the program,” Neal snapped back.

“Every minute we spent together, you hardly said a word. You certainly haven’t been scared  _ speechless _ ,” the Marshal noted, grabbing his arms.

“Sorry,” he apologised quietly.

“Yeah yeah,” GI Suit comforted him with a hand on the left shoulder.

Peter noticed the gesture of putting Caffrey’s hands together, which automatically clasped as if by mere reflex.

“Hi, I’m Agent Burke...you’re early,” he informed the stranger.

“Elliot Stabler, nice to meet you. I have to admit to knowing this little rascal a lot better than you. He never runs farther than to give himself time to think. From what I heard about his  _ second  _ arrest, you have some idea of what that means, don’t you?”

He did.

“Six-foot tall man, eight-foot-tall plane. Tell me he wouldn’t hide in it until he burned up with Moreau,” Stabler suggested. Peter saw how Neal averted his eyes from the officer, growing impatient with this delay in proceedings.

“Please. I almost performed CPR on the kid,” he agreed with this sentiment.

“Can we move on?  _ Please _ ?” this time, the CI looked only at the man transporting him. It was quite odd.

“Sure,” the Marshal returned to his ward. “Before I put the restraints on, do you need to use the restroom?” 

Neal’s cheeks were already red from the cold, but the colour increased in embarrassment at the question.

“Maybe a little,” He reluctantly admitted. The van hadn’t arrived  _ that  _ early. 

“Can you hold it?” Stabler checked.

“I don’t know,” Neal stated honestly. He resented this exchange, exploiting the deal they had made long ago. “What do  _ you  _ think?” he smiled playfully.

“You know what I think. I don’t care, ‘cause I’m not sending you in with a urinary tract infection,”

Caffrey’s expression was plain, resigned to the circumstances as he was escorted inside the airport.

“Don’t forget to wipe off the seat when you’re done,” Stabler reminded him as he closed the door.

“That was one time!” Neal protested indignantly. Peter cleared his throat, standing in the doorway.

He mouthed three words to the fellow federal agent.

_ ‘No, it wasn’t’ _

A nod. 

The End.


End file.
